I had my third OB appointment today. First thing is first. The baby is just fine. Heartbeat nice and strong at 160 bpm. My uterus is measuring perfect. Urine is fine. They are thrilled with my very slow weight gain. I'm up 1 1/2 to 2 pounds from 5 weeks ago, making me negative 2 lbs total from their starting weight for me.
Now my issues. From the very first appointment this Dr. has never felt right to me. I am a pretty "natural", non-medicalized kind of person. I believe there is a place for Western medicine but I believe it is way over used. I want a natural, low intervention pregnancy and birth. Of course if anything goes high risk or wrong I would change my plans accordingly. I'm a vitamin taking, cloth grocery bag carrying, vegetarian. Long story short, I'm a North West hippie.
I really wanted a midwife, but I bowed to family pressure who insisted on a M.D. (Sigh) I should have stuck to my guns and I definitely will next time (if I am lucky enough to have a next time). I chose my current OB pretty blindly. None of my friends who have had babies around here have my philosophy on medical things and so they were no help in finding the proper doctor. I did as much research as I could and I chose a doctor who I *thought* would be open minded to more natural things. I was wrong. Hubby and I have come to refer to her as the "worst case scenario" doctor. She is very alarmist. Everything is talked about in the absolute worst case possible. She even went on and on to me about someones baby who died of listeria at my very first appointment! Who does that? When I have mentioned having a natural birth she said "well that would be nice, but everyone gets an epidural eventually". WTH? I can't even tell you how many times she has brought up some obscure thing happening (like listeria) and how the baby can die.
There are two main hospitals in my area. One hospital is very high tech and very drill sergeant. It is known as the hospital where they quickly stick you in bed, get the epidural, start the pitocin, break your water, and move you on out. The hospital is very anti-natural. The other hospital is much more natural friendly. They encourage you to walk, use the private whirlpool tubs, etc. They also have multiple awards from W.H.O. for being a birth friendly hospital and many breastfeeding awards. I brought up delivering at the "crunchy" hospital today and my OB basically refused. She made obscure references to that hospital "not being safe". I questioned her on it and she refused to elaborate. She said that we need the baby to be safe. I said that of course I agree, but that if a pregnancy is normal that birth is a natural, safe experience for most people. Bottom line we are not on the same page.
I'm really stressed out about this. We have already been making our monthly payments to this medical office towards the birth. I think we would have a hard time getting the money back. There are other doctors at the same office and I'm thinking the money could be applied to someone else there. I'm just not sure if I would have a better experience with someone else there. I don't know. Do you think I should call the office and express my concerns? I really don't want to be labeled a "difficult" patient, but I'm also unhappy with how things are. I see everything I don't want happening with my current doctor. I really think it is too late to go to a different medical group, especially considering the money.
Advice please. If you felt like me, what would you do? I'm really stressing about all of this.
Miss X
5 comments:
Sheri,
You're going to be spending a lot of time with your doctor in the next few months. If you are even the slightest bit unhappy, CHANGE! It's your right as the patient. This is YOUR pregnancy and YOUR baby- do what's right for you. Don't let someone else predetermine the course your pregnancy and birth will follow.
I'll call and kick some ass for you if you want! :)
Change doctors! Don't worry about being labeled a problem patient. Who cares!! This is your pregnancy, and she should let you proceed how you want to.
If you didn't have money invested in this practice, I would advise you to run like hell. But, since the whole baby thing isn't cheap, you should definitely (definitely!) switch to a different doctor. This woman sounds completely opposite of your birthing philosophies and that can only spell trouble in the delivery room. You'll be anxious and stressed enough without having to fight her the whole time. Sounds to me like she's telling all the dead-baby stories to scare you into letting her do whatever she wants at the delivery......GRRRR.
You definitely sound like you need a change. This is way too important to put up with someone who has the exact opposite philosophy as you. I know it will be a pain to switch, but you'll be much happier in the long run. You need to be able to trust the doctor who is going to be bringing your precious little one into this world.
As far as the money goes, I don't see why they wouldn't refund whatever portion that hadn't been applied to charges you've already incurred. Don't they have to?
Change! Do it now! It's not to late in the game to pick a new person. And often, they will treat you better because they know you were unhappy with your last provider.
By law, you office should have to give you your money back, minus any fees you have incurred. Do not let money stop you from having the birth that you want!
And if you want to stay with your office and switch doctors in the practice, be up front about the change. Tell them you wish to give birth at the other hospital and your doctor refused you care at that hospital.
The way I see it, doctors can refuse patients care if things don't go their way, and we as patients can refuse care from our doctors if we don't want it.
CHANGE!!
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