I stayed home from work, sick, one day this week. I just had too much cramping and bleeding. Evidently the only reason a newly married woman would be staying home sick is if she were pregnant. The rumor mill at work says I'm pregnant. If one more person asks me.....
If only it were true.
Miss X
Friday, August 22, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Chemical Sorrow
My last cycle was very weird. I had tons of pg symptoms; implantation spotting at 7dpo, sore boobs, frequent urination. My cycle lasted 3 days past my normal luteal phase. That has never happened in the 6+ years I have been tracking my cycles. When my period came I thought that the ttc bug had just gotten the best of me and I had imagined all of my "symptoms". My period was pretty light, but I didn't think much of it.
This cycle started and things were frustrating me. Almost no ewcm - I am the ewcm queen. No +opk, nothing. Then yesterday - on presumed day 15 the floods unleashed. Very painful, clotting period. Talk to the doc and my mom (she's a nurse) and everyone has concluded that I have most likely just had a miscarriage. Ouch.
I'm sad and dazed all at the same time. Yesterday was really bad timing since we had a house full of people. One of said people was my friend who is currently 5 months pg with her second accident pg. She bitched about being pregnant all afternoon. She obviously had no idea about what was going on with me. Brutal all the same.
Not sure what else to say. Just can't sleep so I thought I would come on here.
I hope this doesn't happen again.
Miss X
This cycle started and things were frustrating me. Almost no ewcm - I am the ewcm queen. No +opk, nothing. Then yesterday - on presumed day 15 the floods unleashed. Very painful, clotting period. Talk to the doc and my mom (she's a nurse) and everyone has concluded that I have most likely just had a miscarriage. Ouch.
I'm sad and dazed all at the same time. Yesterday was really bad timing since we had a house full of people. One of said people was my friend who is currently 5 months pg with her second accident pg. She bitched about being pregnant all afternoon. She obviously had no idea about what was going on with me. Brutal all the same.
Not sure what else to say. Just can't sleep so I thought I would come on here.
I hope this doesn't happen again.
Miss X
Friday, August 15, 2008
Backyard BBQ
Most of you know that my sweet hubby and I were married by ourselves in a private ceremony, so we have decided to have a small BBQ at our house tomorrow afternoon. It will be small, about 15 people, just immediate family and a couple of close friends. Unfortunately it is supposed to be 110 tomorrow just like it was yesterday and is supposed to be today. UGH! So I think it is going to turn into a living room BBQ!
We have been busting our butts all week trying to get our house in pristine order. It was somewhat torn apart with all of our painting. We finally finished painting our kitchen on Monday! In total we stripped wall paper and painted our living room, dining room, hallway, and kitchen! It was SO much work, but it really did turn out lovely. We have our pictures and art hung back on the walls and it looks like a totally different house. I really like it.
I need to do a final cleaning and prepping of the food tonight. I bought a couple of salsas that look so yummy! Key lime garlic and a mango-peach salsa. Mmmm...makes my mouth water! DH is BBQ'ing chicken and Brats (and veggie burgers for me!), and his awesome grilled asparagus. He grills it with olive oil, spices, french fried onions and blue cheese crumbles. It is AWESOME! I also ordered two cakes for the party. One is white cake with lemon filling and lemon butter cream frosting. The other cake is chocolate with chocolate mouse filling and chocolate whipped cream frosting!
Okay, now that I am seriously hungry I better get going! Have a great weekend everybody!
Miss X
We have been busting our butts all week trying to get our house in pristine order. It was somewhat torn apart with all of our painting. We finally finished painting our kitchen on Monday! In total we stripped wall paper and painted our living room, dining room, hallway, and kitchen! It was SO much work, but it really did turn out lovely. We have our pictures and art hung back on the walls and it looks like a totally different house. I really like it.
I need to do a final cleaning and prepping of the food tonight. I bought a couple of salsas that look so yummy! Key lime garlic and a mango-peach salsa. Mmmm...makes my mouth water! DH is BBQ'ing chicken and Brats (and veggie burgers for me!), and his awesome grilled asparagus. He grills it with olive oil, spices, french fried onions and blue cheese crumbles. It is AWESOME! I also ordered two cakes for the party. One is white cake with lemon filling and lemon butter cream frosting. The other cake is chocolate with chocolate mouse filling and chocolate whipped cream frosting!
Okay, now that I am seriously hungry I better get going! Have a great weekend everybody!
Miss X
Friday, August 8, 2008
Italy Bound
Well it's official, we bought our tickets to Italy! We fly into Venice October 19th and fly out of Rome on November 1st to return home. We plan on taking trains and spending about 3 days in Venice, 3 days in Florence, 3 days in the Tuscan countryside, and 3ish days in Rome. That leaves us about 1 extra day.
We haven't booked all our hotels yet, but we are heavy in research mode. I am in love with the country inns in Tuscany. They look fresh out of the movies! Beautiful farmhouse in the midst of vineyards, horses, wine tastings, etc... Sigh. Just beautiful! And so much cheaper then the city hotels! The exchange rates are beyond painful right now.
We are even attempting to learn some Italian! We bought the Ro*s*tta St*ne Italian lesson level 1 and we have been working at it together just about every night. It is fun and challenging. Neither of us expect to learn a whole lot before our trip but I think it will ease a little bit of our fears about being in a country where you can't speak the language. I just want to be able to get by at least a little bit. Communicate the really important information.
Lot's of planning left to do and we really need to get on it! I can't believe how soon the trip is coming up! I still have to get my new passport with my married name on it! YIKES! Super exciting though. This is really going to be a great trip for us.
Oh! I added a countdown on the bottom of the blog for fun! Enjoy!
Miss X
We haven't booked all our hotels yet, but we are heavy in research mode. I am in love with the country inns in Tuscany. They look fresh out of the movies! Beautiful farmhouse in the midst of vineyards, horses, wine tastings, etc... Sigh. Just beautiful! And so much cheaper then the city hotels! The exchange rates are beyond painful right now.
We are even attempting to learn some Italian! We bought the Ro*s*tta St*ne Italian lesson level 1 and we have been working at it together just about every night. It is fun and challenging. Neither of us expect to learn a whole lot before our trip but I think it will ease a little bit of our fears about being in a country where you can't speak the language. I just want to be able to get by at least a little bit. Communicate the really important information.
Lot's of planning left to do and we really need to get on it! I can't believe how soon the trip is coming up! I still have to get my new passport with my married name on it! YIKES! Super exciting though. This is really going to be a great trip for us.
Oh! I added a countdown on the bottom of the blog for fun! Enjoy!
Miss X
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
No Honeymoon Luck
I'm on to cycle number 2.
I'm bummed out but holding it together. Trying as best I can to focus on the positive - indulge in a diet pep*si - drown in some yummy gorgonzola! - etc. Actually I really do have a victory of sorts to celebrate. I did not use a single hpt! That is HUGE! In all of my years TTC this is the first cycle I have ever had that I didn't use an hpt if there was even the remote possibility of pregnancy. If I am being totally honest I use to test several times a cycle. In fact, when I was doing my medicated cyles, I use to start testing the day after trigger up until the day my period came. My "reasoning" was that I wanted to make sure the hcg from the trigger had left my system, so if a real + hpt came I would know it was real. Yeah, I know. So big "'atta girls" for me this cycle. The truth is I just can't bear to see more - hpts. I don't want to test until I am really pretty sure this time. Part of the "trying to keep my sanity" thing.
I won't lie, I did have romantic ideas about getting pregnant on my first cycle this time. I entertained thoughts of how great it would be to get pg as fast as an obnoxious fertile myrtle as an almost "reward" because of the past infertility. Sigh. Oh well, can you really blame me? Who knows maybe I will still be an obnoxious fertile myrtle - without the obnoxious part of course.
Onward.
Miss X
I'm bummed out but holding it together. Trying as best I can to focus on the positive - indulge in a diet pep*si - drown in some yummy gorgonzola! - etc. Actually I really do have a victory of sorts to celebrate. I did not use a single hpt! That is HUGE! In all of my years TTC this is the first cycle I have ever had that I didn't use an hpt if there was even the remote possibility of pregnancy. If I am being totally honest I use to test several times a cycle. In fact, when I was doing my medicated cyles, I use to start testing the day after trigger up until the day my period came. My "reasoning" was that I wanted to make sure the hcg from the trigger had left my system, so if a real + hpt came I would know it was real. Yeah, I know. So big "'atta girls" for me this cycle. The truth is I just can't bear to see more - hpts. I don't want to test until I am really pretty sure this time. Part of the "trying to keep my sanity" thing.
I won't lie, I did have romantic ideas about getting pregnant on my first cycle this time. I entertained thoughts of how great it would be to get pg as fast as an obnoxious fertile myrtle as an almost "reward" because of the past infertility. Sigh. Oh well, can you really blame me? Who knows maybe I will still be an obnoxious fertile myrtle - without the obnoxious part of course.
Onward.
Miss X
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Busy, Busy
Moving sucks. Deciding that this would be a great time to paint the entire living room/dining room/kitchen/hall at the same time is shockingly stupid. Yet, that is exactly what we have been doing. We are so tired and I still have a TON of packing/moving to do from my old apartment into our house. YIKES!!!!!! Can someone please wake me when it is over. I am SUCH a procrastinator when it comes to something I don't want to do and I absolutely loathe packing/moving. I seriously wish it was just over with. Ugh.
Since we both had complete households of stuff we have been selling stuff off on Cra*igs L*ist and just keeping the furniture we like best. Consequently the house was kind of empty since some of the furniture we are keeping is at my apartment. It seemed like a good time to paint. Unfortunately we had to strip off some old wallpaper and that is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy! I do have to say that the place is looking awesome though. I need to post some pictures. We chose this latte color for most of the walls and ceiling and a lovely silvery blue color for accent walls and the kitchen. It looks really great.
We are super busy, but super happy. This summer is just going to fly by with how busy we are! I am really looking forward to fall. It is my favorite time of year anyway and we are planning a trip to Italy for hopefully sometime in October. Exciting times! I'm determined to enjoy every moment.
Miss X
Since we both had complete households of stuff we have been selling stuff off on Cra*igs L*ist and just keeping the furniture we like best. Consequently the house was kind of empty since some of the furniture we are keeping is at my apartment. It seemed like a good time to paint. Unfortunately we had to strip off some old wallpaper and that is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy! I do have to say that the place is looking awesome though. I need to post some pictures. We chose this latte color for most of the walls and ceiling and a lovely silvery blue color for accent walls and the kitchen. It looks really great.
We are super busy, but super happy. This summer is just going to fly by with how busy we are! I am really looking forward to fall. It is my favorite time of year anyway and we are planning a trip to Italy for hopefully sometime in October. Exciting times! I'm determined to enjoy every moment.
Miss X
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
TTC the "Old Fashioned" Way...Really?
Family planning was definitely a part of our pre-martial talks. I told him quite a bit about my years of ttc and fertility treatment with the Ex. He knows it was an extremely painful part of my life. Clearly he can't possibly "get it", but he understands my fears.
Since we both want children, he will be 35 this year and I've wanted kids forever, we decided that we wouldn't wait. We decided that we would not use birth control when we got married. We are trying the laid back, la-di-da, whatever happens, happens approach. Can you believe that? I am trying so very, very hard to think about this as little as possible. I am desperate to not become the person I was before. I just cannot damage my marriage that way. I cannot damage myself in that way.
I am so hoping and praying that I become pregnant easily this time (don't we all?). That I don't even get the chance to stress about whether we will struggle/what we will do, etc. It is so weird. I was never technically the one with the fertility problem, so in theory I am ttc like a "normal" average person. But, I'm not exactly average. I know too much. I know the deep pain of years of ttc with no results. But I am also excited about the fresh chance. A big part of me really feels like it is just going to work. It's an odd thing.
I started my period on Saturday so this is the start of my first cycle with the possibility that something could happen. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. It's crazy to think that I am trying again. I'm keeping it under control. No opk's, no early hpts, no obsessing over "symptoms". But definitely hoping.
And it's nice to hope again.
Miss X
Since we both want children, he will be 35 this year and I've wanted kids forever, we decided that we wouldn't wait. We decided that we would not use birth control when we got married. We are trying the laid back, la-di-da, whatever happens, happens approach. Can you believe that? I am trying so very, very hard to think about this as little as possible. I am desperate to not become the person I was before. I just cannot damage my marriage that way. I cannot damage myself in that way.
I am so hoping and praying that I become pregnant easily this time (don't we all?). That I don't even get the chance to stress about whether we will struggle/what we will do, etc. It is so weird. I was never technically the one with the fertility problem, so in theory I am ttc like a "normal" average person. But, I'm not exactly average. I know too much. I know the deep pain of years of ttc with no results. But I am also excited about the fresh chance. A big part of me really feels like it is just going to work. It's an odd thing.
I started my period on Saturday so this is the start of my first cycle with the possibility that something could happen. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. It's crazy to think that I am trying again. I'm keeping it under control. No opk's, no early hpts, no obsessing over "symptoms". But definitely hoping.
And it's nice to hope again.
Miss X
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